Blog > Archive by category 'Autism Journal'

I’ve Reached a New Level

August 6, 2010 By Nanette
grand canyon

Funny I hadn’t noticed this till today.  But I think I’m finally past that blame stage.  I haven’t even thought of that in such a long time.  For years it haunted me, was it something I did, something I allowed the doctors to give my baby boy, something I didn’t do that caused the learning issues for my son.

Today I realized I’ve reached a new level.  Now all I can think about and focus on is his education and making sure he gets the education he not only deserves but is entitled to.  He is entitled to an education like every other child.  He needs to learn to live in a world that isn’t going to be modified for him.  An employer isn’t going to modify his work expectations for Little Bug when he gets older, life isn’t going to modify itself to fit Little Bug’s needs and ability to comprehend what is needed in any given situation.

It’s strange but it’s in a way a good feeling.  A feeling that I’ve overcoming something that held me back and now I can move forward stronger, more knowledgeable and more prepared to help Little Bug in life.  It’s almost as though a weight has been lifted as strange as that might sound.

Yes, I’m scared to make mistakes when it comes to school, education, IEPs, ARD meetings and so much more but I have to remember who and why I am doing it and just do my best, just like I ask Little Bug to do. “Just do your best” of course for me, I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I’m doing it 100% right but I can try.

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An Allergic Reaction?

July 16, 2010 By Nanette
MB12 cream

Yep, that’s what I was told when I asked the DAN doctor about some lumps/bumps at the injection site of the MB12 injections.  Now I’ve been doing these for Little Bug twice a week every week since early December so I’ve kinda got it down right.  Everything up until a couple of weeks ago seemed fine but then Little Bug pointed out to me that he had a bump.  I figured maybe somehow I went in at the wrong angle or something and it would go down.  Well it didn’t go down and I was getting worried.

Our next DAN doctor appointment hadn’t been scheduled since our doctor was looking for another office to move to and we were told they’d contact us within 30 days.  Well it was well over 30 days and I hadn’t heard a peep and couldn’t locate them and the office they were at previously didn’t have any contact information or maybe they just weren’t sharing it.   Anyway, I remembered we hadn’t gotten the results back on a test I mailed in (and paid for)  so I took a chance and called that company and thankfully they had a contact number for the doctor.

Once I actually got a hold of someone we scheduled an appointment two days later.  Well by now, it’s been almost two weeks and I had continued Little Bug’s injections on schedule so guess what? More bumps and again right at the injection sites.  Ok, now I’m really getting worried and I don’t like this one bit.

So we make it to our appointment and the doctor tells me it appears that he’s developed an allergic reaction to the MB12 so I ask what other options we have.  She recommends we try the MB12 cream but continue with the injections till the cream comes in.  Uh hello! If it’s an allergic reaction do I really want to do that?  I went ahead and did it one more time just to see if he’d get another bump but with the stipulation that if another bump appeared that was it. I don’t care how many I have unused.  Sure enough another bump so no more injections.

Of course not only is the cream extremely expensive it’s bright red and can stain and it has to be applied twice a day everyday and remain on his arm for 45-60 minutes. Not easy to get a kiddo not to move his arm or get red stuff on his clothes.  But if it’s easier for my Little Bug it’s okay by me.  (That photo up there is what the MB12 looks like on his arm after about 20 minutes. Fortunately it washes off easily.)

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Just When I Think

July 12, 2010 By Nanette

PhotobucketIt’s been a rough couple of weeks, between company, dr’s appts., more company, phone calls from family crying and upset to others calling and venting to me, special needs research, phone calls, special needs binders and testing reviews and making graphs, bills, illnesses, just plain everyday stuff and everything else that could be thrown at me, I’ve just been exhausted and frustrated and at my wits end. I can just feel the stress welling up inside me.  I’ll bet my blood pressure is through the roof right now.

But just when I think I can’t handle one more thing, not a single one, for no reason at all my Little Bug burst into tears on the way home from the grocery store.  He doesn’t know why and he can’t stop.   But in that very instant all that frustration, stress and feeling of being overwhelmed gets pushed away as if it never existed. He just needed mommy.  He needed mommy to hold him in her arms, wipe the tears away and kiss him gently on the head.  It took more than one hug but you know what just when when I think I can’t take anymore:

I am reminded of how much grander love is than all the stresses that I could ever endure.

I am reminded that everything I go through is nothing compared to what my Little Bug faces every moment of every day.

I am reminded how important my love and loving arms are to my children.

I am reminded that God gives me a strength beyond what I deserve but He knows I need.

I am reminded how blessed I am to be a mom.

And I am reminded of the power of the love of my children and their little arms around me have.

I’m glad it took more than one hug ’cause I guess I needed one too.

Filed Under: Autism Journal, Featured Tagged With: , ,
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