I’ve been sharing with you over the last few weeks about Disney Social Media Moms Celebration 2012.  Thank you first of all for allowing me share it with you. It was an amazing time from beginning to end.  I listened to speakers talk about going outside our comfort zone and how nothing exciting happens within it.  I heard speakers talk about facing our fears.  We hear all the words but do we take action on them? Sometimes we do, at other times we hear it, think to ourselves “yes, I need to do this” then we stay in our comfort zone and don’t do a thing.

But do you know what drove this point home for me? It wasn’t the speakers, it was was something totally unexpected. It was my son.  I saw him face his fears and the challenge he set for himself.  No he didn’t take on the thrill rides, he didn’t go on the scary rides or roller coasters.  It was much more subtle but amazing and poignant for me none the less.

At Magic Kingdom there is island called “Tom Sawyer Island” and so we took the ferry over to it to take a look and walk around.  There was a mine which was narrow and dark and this with it’s slight echo was trying for my Buggy but there was no going back and so he continued on.  Then as we walked further we noticed a barrel bridge.  It was wobbly and unsteady.  Daddy and sister immediately headed over.  Sister will try just about anything that girl.

Buggy and I stayed on the land by it and watched.  As a few others went behind Daddy and sister somewhere inside Buggy he made the decision to give it a try.  “Mommy, I want to go across. Just hold me.” I asked if he was sure and he said yes and started out. So we walked along the bridge slowly but surely and when he got to the end he looked back at me with the biggest smile and excitedly said, “I did it mom! I did it!”  He sure did. We celebrated as I tried to hold back tears. A fear faced, a challenge won!  Buggy 1 – fear 0

I thought this was it and we were both so proud then he surprised me and said, “mom I want to do it again but this time don’t hold me” again I asked if he was sure. Of course he said “yes, come with me but don’t hold me”.  So I quickly called over to my husband and told him to pull out the video camera, Buggy was going to do this on his own and I don’t want to miss it.  YES!  He did it! He got all the way across this barrel bridge on his own!  Buggy 2 – fear 0

He found the strength and courage to do what I’d heard. Step out of your comfort zone. He put it out there for me to see and learn from.  If my son can do it so can I. He has always been my inspiration and again he has proven why.

I paid a fee to attend the Social Media Moms Celebration at Walt Disney World. As an attendee I received discounted rates and additional perks enhancing the magical Disney experience. I was not asked to blog about my experience. As always all thoughts in this post are my own.

© 2012, Nanette Gomez. All rights reserved.

I saw this posted on twitter today by Tiffany Noth from BloggyConference.com  and wanted to share it. So many times we see a child who in an outward appearance appears to be typical but their behaviors just don’t seem to fit their age.  This is something we experienced with our son. He’s bigger on the outside than he is on the inside meaning that just because he looks like a 7 or 8 or 9 year old child doesn’t mean he’s able to think or cope with situations like a typical 7 or 8 or 9 year old.  Buggy has always been about two years behind and that shows not in his physical size but in his behaviors and emotional abilities to cope with situations.  Some things that wouldn’t typically affect a child can really be a big issues for a child with autism.

You probably can’t read that image very well so let me just point out what it says.

• I hate having my hair washed, brushed or cut.
• I cry and shield my eyes from the sun and other bright lights.
• I have “selective hearing” or difficulty listening.
• I am a picky eater. I resist new foods and textures.
• I complain about tags in my clothing.
• I seem to be unaware of normal touch or pain.  I often touch others too soft or too hard.
• I hate being tickled or cuddled.
• I have poor gross motor skills, such as running and riding a bike.
• I always walk on my tiptoes.
• I have trouble focusing and/or concentrating.
• I am overly sensitive to loud sounds such as vacuums and blenders.
• I am always smelling people, food and objects.
• I chew on everything.
• I have poor fine motor skills, such as handwriting and cutting.
• I have difficulty dressing myself.
• I sit with my legs in a “W” position.
• I put my socks on “just so” or maybe I never go barefoot.

Autism is different for every individual.  One person could display only one of these while another may display all  them.  If you see a child who seems too big to be covering his ears in a parking lot for fear of loud noise, or a child struggling while getting a hair cut think twice before judging and/or starring.  It may not be a child “misbehaving” but rather one struggling with a world they have trouble coping in.

© 2012, Nanette Gomez. All rights reserved.

As I sit here watching the preview to the Bully movie now playing in only select theaters, I wonder why it isn’t being shown everywhere, why everyone on this planet isn’t watching this, isn’t being made to understand that this has to stop.

13 MILLION Kids will be bullied in the U.S. this year.

3 MILLION Kids are absent each month because they don’t feel safe in their own school.

We are losing our children because someone wants to be mean. Because no one is protecting our kids.  Schools say they have a no tolerance policy yet the bullying continues. Kids get teased, they get pushed, they get hurt. Hurt in a place where they should feel safe, they should be safe. Adults are there to do their job to protect our kids when they are out of our hands. Yet they aren’t.

Stop making excuses, “boys will be boys”, “some kids are just mean”.

Those are excuses for not taking action, for not protecting our kids, for not doing our job as parents to teach our children what is right and what is wrong and how to be respectful of others.

No, bullying isn’t anything new. We probably all got bullied in some way or other when we were in school but you have to admit – it is so much worse now. Children are taking their own lives because they see no other way out.  This is wrong. We have to give our kids a way out.

We are all different. My child is different, your child is different.  I hear my child’s words that cut through my heart, “mommy, I was bullied again today”.  Each and every time, I let it be known to the school.  I will not keep silent about this.  But what has been done? He’s still being teased. He is still being pushed.  He has been at the same school for 5 years now and still it continues.  I won’t let the story of this family-  their heartbreak, their loss of their son happen without saying something.  I won’t be silent for this family, I won’t be silent for the many other families who’s lives have been changed forever, I won’t be silent for my own family.

See this movie if it is available in your town. If it isn’t get on the website and Demand it! be shown in yours. I just did.  Visit the Bully website!  Watch the preview. Visit their facebook page.

© 2012, Nanette Gomez. All rights reserved.

Being gluten free or having other food allergies can make traveling pretty stressful. When considering travel destinations, we always have to do some before hand research to ensure we won’t have issues with our dietary needs, or food allergy restrictions.

SeaWorld San Antonio is one theme park we love visiting. It’s an all day event for us.  So now that we are dealing with food allergies I figured I’d better do a little research about our dining options for next time we go for a visit.  I did a little digging, made some contacts and found out some information I’d like to share with you if you too live with food allergies.

Image courtesy of SeaWorld San Antonio Texas.

Helpful information to know:

•  SeaWorld provides allergen binders in all of the main park restaurants with pictures of all the labels.
• SeaWorld offers Divvie’s allergen-free products at the following locations: Sweet Treats bakery, Snack Attack and Shamu’s Smokehouse.
• According to SeaWorld head chef, S. Ronczkowski, Shamu’s Smokehouse is the parks’ go-to-allergen free facility.
• SeaWorld will accommodate special foods that meet dietary needs if SeaWorld does not provide an option. Please contact SeaWorld via email at AllergenFriendlySWT@seaworld.com prior to your visit to ensure you have no trouble taking in food for the individual with the food allergies. They do have some restrictions as to the amount of food (individual size packaging), cooler sizes, restrictions against glass and straws, etc that you will want to be aware of prior to your visit.
• Ask for a supervisor as soon as you arrive at any meal facility and make them aware of your food allergies.
• It’s best to try and visit meal facilities at off-peak times or ahead of meal time just so you can be assisted and served efficiently.
• Always remember to ask about the possibility of cross-contamination.

There is plenty of information on their website as well such as their page on Food Allergen Information. Other great resources are their website: www.seaworld.com/sanantonio  and their facebook page www.facebook.com/seaworldsanantonio.

© 2012, Nanette Gomez. All rights reserved.

It hit me like a ton of bricks when Bug handed me a pink sheet of paper from his backpack.  I knew it was coming, I just didn’t know it would be this soon. What was that pink paper? It was the sheet asking what elective Bug wanted to take next year in “Middle School”.

He quickly narrowed it down to his top three choices: art, beginning band and choir. Art used to be my thing so it did make my heart joyful to know that’s what he wants although any of his choices because they are what he wants to do would have made my heart joyful.

How did middle school creep up on us so fast?  It seems like just yesterday I was holding my first baby in my arms and rocking him to sleep, cuddling him and kissing his tiny hands and feet taking in that wonderful baby scent.

I’m scared of this. I’m not ready for him to go to middle school. I don’t think emotionally he’s ready for this.

What if he doesn’t get one of his choices?  What if he ends up in math lab and doesn’t even get the opportunity to take an elective.  What if kids take advantage of him?  What if they make fun of him for putting his hands over his ears ’cause he just can’t take the sounds? What if he cries when he becomes overwhelmed? What if, what if, what if?

It’s starting all over again. Can you feel my panic?  Just writing this I am feeling the panic once again. Can’t we just go back to when he was just my baby boy? When I could keep him safe from everything around him? If only I could, I would.

I must remind myself, he’s come such a long way.  But when I look at him I still see that very innocent, sweet baby boy of mine. Once again I feel myself in an unfamiliar area of life. What will this hold out for us all?

© 2012, Nanette Gomez. All rights reserved.

As you may or may not know we have gluten intolerance in my family.  We’ve done the gluten free diet for some time but for some reason we just weren’t getting the results we were looking for.  Little did we know it was more than gluten that was causing an issue.

More testing resulted in more information and insight into what may be the problem.  Cross reactive food!  Yes, it wasn’t just the gluten in foods that were causing an issue.  It was some of the other ingredients in foods marked Gluten Free.  Allergies abound

Instead of using wheat in foods due to the gluten many companies use tapioca as a replacement.  Yep, you guessed it. We are intolerant/allergic to tapioca.  And sesame too. So all those gluten free foods we thought we could eat. Nope we can’t anymore.  This is really limiting our food options or maybe a better way to put it is that it is forcing us to think outside our typical food choices and try new ones.  I guess it all just depends on how you want to look at it.

So now I am on the hunt again for gluten free food that DO NOT contain tapioca as a replacement for wheat.  Here’s where I need your help.  If you have any recipes and I mean easy ones cause I am just not a good cook, could you share them with me. Or if you know of a gluten free website with simple dishes without a hundred different ingredients I’d love it if you could share it with me. It would be such a help.

© 2012, Nanette Gomez. All rights reserved.

With my first child, I, like so many new parents probably didn’t know what questions to ask the pediatrician.

This is where I feel my child fell through the cracks.  You see my son wasn’t diagnosed with Autism until he was almost six years old, beyond the “early intervention” age.

It makes me mad that he wasn’t diagnosed earlier for many reasons. I’ve been frustrated at the doctors who saw him and didn’t catch it but I’ve also been mad at myself for not asking the right questions, not knowing what to look for.

With my second child, at one of her well-child visits the doctor had her demonstrate various tasks.  This surprised me alot as no one had done this with my first.

She was asked to jump up and down, jump from one tile to the next, walk a few steps, etc. to show the doctor her gross motor skills. She was asked to copy a smilie face the doctor had drawn on a piece of paper so the doctor could see her fine motor skills and ability to hold objects within her fingers.

Why was this never done for my son? No one ever asked him to perform any task like this including me.

In order to ask the right questions, we need to know where our child should be and at what age they should reach these goals and not just the typical goals that get asked about such as first time they stood up, or ate baby food or waved bye-bye or first word.  We have to look beyond that and make sure your pediatrican looks beyond those typical questions into these developmental areas as well:

Social/emotional
Speech and language
Cognitive/General knowledge
Gross Motor
Fine Motor
Self-Help skills

Sometimes we are so wrapped up in the usual big milestones like first tooth, first word or first steps that we tend to overlook other milestones that we need be aware of as well. And take note of each of these. I know that’s a lot to ask while your hands are full with caring for your baby but after doctor vists after doctor visit you get asked those same questions over and over and over again, it’s wonderful to be able to provide as full a picture of your child’s development as you can.

Had I know what to look for earlier, I would have known before age five and a half how my son was struggling and why.

© 2012, Nanette Gomez. All rights reserved.

As I was cleaning out my desk drawers over the weekend, yes, it has been much too long since I cleaned out my file, what I found really took me back.  I came across a folder full of information we were given when Bug was first diagnosed with Autism.  I remember feeling so overwhelmed. There was so much information and this was but the tip of the iceberg.

The list of signs I missed. The indicators I should have caught but just didn’t see or maybe I just didn’t want to see them.  I kept reading the packet and as much as I didn’t want to see it, I couldn’t really deny it.  It wouldn’t have been fair to just close my eyes to it.  That wouldn’t help my son.  As much as I wanted to tell myself it wasn’t true, it was time to face the facts.  It answered so many questions and brought up many millions more. As scary as the possibility might be if you see these signs or someone suggests to you that you might want to get your child tested and as hard as it is not to getdefensive, take a close, honest look at what could be potential signs and find out.  It  may very well not be Autism but isn’t that beautiful child of yours worth the effort to find out? To even just inquire about with his/her pediatrician?  Of course he/she is.

These are just possible indicators.  I am not a doctor so don’t take these as facts just as what they are possible indicators that may be a red flag to you as a parent:

*Lack of speech or impaired speech
*Lack of eye contact
* Doesn’t respond when called by name
* Doesn’t like to cuddle
* Extreme distress for no discernible reason
* Spins objects
* Plays next to children not with them
* Has no imaginative play
* Echolalic speech (recites lines from t.v., etc)
* No fear of real danger
* Can’t carry on a conversation like peers his age

These were just a few of the things we noticed with Bug.

© 2012, Nanette Gomez. All rights reserved.