Have you ever kept a gratitude journal? You know what I mean. Every morning or evening you write down a set number of things you are grateful for. I tried once and gave up pretty quickly.

Am I Ungrateful?

No, it’s not that I’m not grateful, I am for so much, for everything – the good, the bad, even the hard stuff! But I realize now that I’m doing a 21 Days of Happiness project and keeping my word for 2020 (Love) in the forefront, I wake up ready to write down the three things I’m grateful for each morning.

What Made Things Different Now?

I guess I’ve come to realize that I was letting life’s anxieties and everyday stresses really take that happiness and gratitude away from me. I let it rob me of happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like my life is stress-free now, I still have the same everyday problems like everyone else on this planet. I’m just trying to focus more on putting my word, Love, first and it is already making life easier, well maybe easier isn’t the right word, I think better is the right word for me. Priorities. That comes before all of the daily stresses that were robbing me of being happy.

Reading God’s word daily.

Listening to uplifting music.

Focusing on the good.

Being kind to myself and to others.

These are just some of the small changes that are making a big difference in my days. They are making being grateful more obvious, making me see the good in my days even if sometimes they are long and stressful. Refocusing on the good and being grateful for that is how I want every day to be.

What are you grateful for?

Yes, can you believe it’s 2020! I always try and choose a word for the year to help me stay focused on what I want during the year, a word that has meaning and purpose. I’ve kind of been bouncing back and forth between two – Love and Progress.

Something new for 2020!

This year I’m going to choose 2 words for 2020. One, “progress” because in so many areas of my life I need progress. I need to keep moving forward, growing each step of the way. One of the major things I need to remember about my word, progress, is that it doesn’t mean perfection, there is no time limit on progress.

It covers so many aspects of my life and I need and want to keep that my focus point. When I get frustrated and I know I will, I want to bring the word progress back to mind, when I fall or fail at something whether it be with learning a new skill or in my parenting actions I want to come back to this word, Progress and remind myself of how far I have come vs how far I still have to go. I have to stop beating myself up every time I don’t meet some beyond attainable goal or time frame I have set for myself or others for that matter.

My Word for 2020 #2!

My second word is Love and while I thought it was just a personal word, it isn’t. It’s a word that involves not just me, not just the inner me and my family circle but it extends beyond that. Love should motivate everything we do and say not just to others but to ourselves. I know I have said unkind words to myself silently, we all have. Whether it’s about what we look like, how something looks like on us, how we did a task or failed to or what the results were when we took ourselves out of our comfort zone.

That’s not showing love to myself, that’s feeding negativity into myself and in essence to those around me. What kind of an example is that to my kids, to my spouse, to others? So love, yes love is my second word for 2020. It’s a very personal one for me. It’s a heart wide open word to the ones I love and the world around me. It brings forth kindness and understanding even when I’m upset or hurt but it can also cover over those things and help me to grow and progress as a wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend, Christian, teacher and human.

Last year was hard, very hard so this word means more to me than you will ever know. So much has already gone awry this year, dumb little stuff but you know how it’s those dumb little things that make you crazy. But I chose to put Love & Progress first and I was able to start this year off in the most wonderful way.

Starting the new year right

My husband and I with our children by our sides and surrounded by those we love renewed our wedding vows on our 20th anniversary in the exact same location, with the same judge at the same time. While many of those we loved we have lost in those 20 years, their love for us and our love for them was with us in our hearts that day and always.

My wish for you

So here’s wishing you a year of love and progress and every good gift there is in store for you and those you love.

What about you?

What’s your word for 2020? What will your focus be this year?

 

Ever notice how when you want something, I mean REALLY WANT something, everything gets in your way?

I wanted so badly to enter the Sony Alpha Creator in Residence Grant.

It took me weeks but I had my essay finally done after about 4 or 5 redos. The budget was done after a handful of refinements. I was finally somewhat ok with the results.

Then an unplanned trip came up which took me away for a week. Unfortunately, it was a week filled with headaches, migraines, anxiety and depression. That was a tough one to get through but I did.

I knew I’d need to get the video done while on my trip so I took my mini video camera with me so I could record, fresh batteries and all and yes, I checked it before I left. Somewhere between packing it and getting to my destination, a 6 hour drive it decided to die. I pulled it out, hit the power button and nothing.

I changed out the batteries and nothing.

Needless to say this got me all frazzled, now what was I going to use? Nobody else had a video camera I could use and even if they did, I didn’t have a laptop or anything to take the file home with me.

OK, so that’s that right?

Nope, not going to happen.

I grabbed my sister and my cell phone and recorded it that way. Not the best option, in fact, it’s probably the worst option ever but it would be a video vs. not doing one at all and being eliminated immediately for not having completed all the requirements.

Fine. At least, I had a video I could work with.

So after the week away, I got home and had less than 48 hours to edit my video, upload it and complete my online application.

I opened my video program and uploaded my video. Yay progress!

Nope.

My video program decides it doesn’t want to cooperate. Have you ever had your video editing program just decide it’s not going to cooperate? It isn’t fun is it? Especially when you are on a time crunch?

OK, Finally my video program takes my video. Progress!

I got it edited. Progress!

Uploaded it to YouTube. Progress!

Yes, finally things are starting to turn around here.

Or so I thought.

Watched the video before I submitted it just to make sure it looked ok and nope.

My volume was too low and there was just no way to make it loud enough.

I feel like Charlie Brown yelling at this point, “AAAUGH!!!”

I even texted my husband, “that’s it, I’m done. I give up”.

I’ve got less than 36 hours now before the official deadline.

I can’t give up. I have to do this. I have to finish what I started.

“Just one more time. Don’t give up. Just try.” That’s all I kept telling myself over and over again.

So I got my cell phone out, stood by a window, grabbed a teddy bear to hold just to get me through it and recorded it again and again till I got it all in one shot. I don’t have time to fight with the editor again.

Uploaded it and the volume was fine.

It’s time, time to get that online application done. I entered my essay, my budget, my images and my video and then I did what I have been wanting, needing to do – I hit submit!

UGH, life just had to throw every stinkin’ monkey wrench it could find at me. But it’s done.

I did it and I’m proud of me.

Win or not, I’m proud I pushed through all the hard stuff and did it!